So much for a productive day at work!
I could barely think. I was so preoccupied by Joel and Hamish. Just what did Hamish face when he got home? How is he today? How is his faith holding up? And what of that fearful look on Jonah’s face? What was behind that? And Emily who carries the world on her shoulders – just like her mother once did … she was white in the face by the time we left – almost translucent. Far too dry-eyed. Almost as though in shock. Not at all consistent with her usual reaction to Hamish’s dilemma.
I was so distracted that I forgot to go to the team meeting this morning – or would have if Gina hadn’t come to get me. I couldn’t get the computer to work because the cleaner had unplugged the stupid thing – again. Not that I figured that out either, I had Scott and Kylie in helping me and was about to call I.T. when Gina came back from morning tea and asked had I checked whether the cleaners had unplugged me again. I took forever to finish two reports because I couldn’t think of the right terminology and finished up having to ask Gina for the words I was looking for (talk about embarrassing) and then I had to complete the second one again because I printed it and closed the document without saving it. At least I’d printed it and my typing speed is reasonable.
I got to afternoon tea time before Gina cornered me. She shut the door and asked me what was wrong.
“Why do you think there’s something wrong?” I tried to duck the question.
“You have been all over the place today. Are you okay? You were fine yesterday …” she looks like she’s trying to put the pieces together and coming up with nothing. So at least she doesn’t think I’m in the middle of a relapse.
And then I burst into tears.
And Gina – the lost Gina – the one who served Christ – a ghost of her took over. She gathered up her wallet, handed me my bag and a fist full of tissues to stuff in it, picked up her bag and stuffed her wallet and another fist full of tissues in it and bundled us both out of the building and down to the back booth of Johnny’s Bakery round the corner. She ordered a coffee for herself and a hot chocolate for me – just the way I like it when I’m upset including the froth and marshmallows and waited for it to come before she asked me again.
So I told her. I wasn’t sure how she’d react – but I needed to get it out – and she’d know why I was upset, even if she doesn’t believe anymore. But I got to the part where Joel was angry with Hamish, and she was all for Hamish. The idea that Joel was that restrictive I think, horrified her. Even more so when I told her how terrified Hamish looked. I mean, I love my brother and I don’t think he’d abuse his children – but it’s scary to think of one of them being afraid of him over something like this.
“But that’s not fair. Hamish should be allowed to believe what he likes. It’s not like he’s been lying to Joel about it. Joel even knew that Jonah was a Christian. I don’t know why it would have never occurred to him that his parents weren’t!”
“I think it was the fact that Paul was there with them that finished him. The idea that Paul might be being drawn to Christianity scared him. I think that’s what sent him over the edge.” Perspective comes with distance from a situation. “Still I’m scared of how it’s going to affect Hamish. I’m pretty sure he’s not going to be allowed to be friends with Jonah anymore.”
“Nope. Joel never does anything by halves when it gets into his head. I’m just worried what else will come with it.”
“You need to pray about this, Alciana …” she stopped and looked like she had just said something that was of a foreign language, “.. I mean, that’s what people would normally do in your situation. What about Emily? You sounded worried about her too.”
“Yeah. I think I’ll stop by Paul’s place and talk to Emily on the way home tonight. I can do that without setting off fireworks. There was more to that than just Hamish’s situation. I think Jonah might have said something that worried her too.”
“Yeah. You should meet her. She’s got such a giving nature. She’s a lot like her mother was. Lisa was my best friend from the time we were little until she died.”
“You miss her.”
When I went to see what was going on with Emily, she was asleep. Paul said that she had stayed home from school that day because she felt sick, although he couldn’t figure out what was wrong. She’d looked really pale and drawn and wasn’t up to eating anything.
“Sounds like Lisa when she was really upset about something” I commented.
Paul just nodded.
“That’s what I’ve been thinking too. I think I could just about deck Joel like I would have when we were kids – but I know that’d just make things worse.”
“I’m not sure that Hamish and Joel are the only ones she’s worried about.”
“What do you mean?”
“Did you see how Jonah looked when Megan left the room like she did?”
“No. But the kid’s not stupid. He’s old enough to worry about his mum getting sick again if she’s nearly died in the last year or two after the same kind of things have happened. Do you think he might have told Emily that he thinks his mother is dying?”
“I don’t know. But I know that she looked like she was carrying the world on her shoulders last night. I think we need to find out just what she is carrying. I think if I’m right that Megan and Carlos might also need to know something too. That boy is worrying about something big time.”
“Emily and I will have a little chat.”
“Let me know how it goes.”
Lord please let Emily open up to Paul. May their conversation be open and may she not feel any need to hold back. Please comfort her. Lord I pray for Jonah as he worries about his family. I pray that you help them to work out the right balance of information to share and help each one of them to trust you. And Father tonight I also bring before you Hamish and Joel. Please forgive Joel his ignorance and draw him to you. Strengthen Hamish for whatever trials you have ahead for him. May you lighten his burden and make his paths straight. Help him to hold fast to your promises which are sure and to trust you in everything.
Thanks Lord for Gina today. Thanks for bringing her face to face with your ways and having to confront her former faith. I ask that you call her back into your presence and draw her to you.
May you be glorified through the events of this day.